I keep coming to the conclusion that we have reached the point of no return. The earth is being destroyed and that can only be done once. Most of the damage can’t be restored or repaired. Species can’t be revived from extinction. Mountain tops are irreplaceable. Exhausted deposits of coal and oil can’t be replaced in less than several million years. Valleys with their streams can’t breath buried under tons of human garbage, nor other valleys and streams under tons of coal mining waste.
Thinking like this has depressed me, not stare for hours at a wall depressed, not clinical depression, just a comparatively mild funk. Clinical depression is probably held at bay by the joy of being the first grandson in a large family of five aunts and a grandma applying limitless love.
Of the probably infinite number of options, I come up with two—be depressed, be sad, despair or what the hell, if there is no hope then quit reading about all the horrors being inflicted on all of nature and have fun. Being within about a month of my 78th birthday, I am likely to end before the whole thing collapses, so I can do what brings me pleasure and leave this thing to burn down after I’m gone.
Or I can have fun (is this my second or third option?) with the idiots who are ruining everything, by giving them as much shit as I can on the way out. The fun might be in watching them squirm and celebrating with fellow travelers,to whom I cannot offer hope. That will be tough—celebrating some burning stick of victory, when there is no hope of blowing the fire out or restoring the stick.
THE ENTIRE HISTORY OF MAN
(author unknown to me)
Why should I tell you everything,
when everything has been told and you have done nothing?
No, I will tell you only one thing
But what shall that be?
Youth is not innocent.
Old Age is unwise
There is more than one infinity.
And only ashes will rise up out of ashes.
But these do not diminish your insignificance.
I will tell you something.
Smile days. Sleep nights.
There is no reason why.